Batman - A Faustian Deal (comic script, englisch)

[Kai "the spy"]

Hallo, allerseits!
Vor Jahren habe ich mal dieses Skript geschrieben und an DC Comics geschickt. Leider wurde es aus verlagspolitischen Gründen (DC kauft keine Skripte, sondern vergibt nur Auftragsarbeit) ungelesen zurückgeschickt.
Vor einiger Zeit habe ich es dann in einem englischsprachigen Forum veröffentlicht und habe ziemlich gute Reaktionen bekommen. Daher will ich es nun auch hier posten. Ist zwar auf englisch, aber einige dürften es hoffentlich dennoch lesen können.
Kurze Anmerkung: Die Story spielt nicht im fortlaufenden DC Universum, sondern ist eine Art Elseworlds oder Imaginary Tale.
Disclaimer: Batman ist (c)2010 von DC Comics. Nicht-genehmigte, aber auch nicht-kommerzielle Verwendung.


BATMAN – FAUSTIAN DEAL; alt.: Devil’s Due
written by Kai Brauns


Page 1
Four even-sized panels.


1/ A small side road. We see a young woman running from a guy with a knife, perspective towards us. She’s looking over her shoulder to the man. The fear is clear to see in her face. The guy on the other hand has an evil smile.


Caption (Batman): “Rape.”


2/ A living-room, we see a woman crouching over the body of another woman. It’s dark, we only see their contours


Caption (Batman): “Murder.”


3/ A bedroom, we see from above a man stroking the arm of a little girl, they’re covered by the sheets.


Caption (Batman): “Child abuse.”


4/ We see opposite to us a fancy-dressed man with a cigar sitting at his big desk, behind him a panorama window showing the skyline of the city.


Caption (Batman): “Corruption.”


****

Page 2
Page split diagonal in two.


1/ We are in the side road, the Batman is above the man with the knife, he is one big shadow, only his white glowing eyes are visible. The man lets go of his knife and has the same fear in his eyes the woman had on page 1. The woman is sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall of a house, awe and disbelief in her eyes.


Caption (Batman): “Although they say I’d do so much...


2/ Ground level. We see Batman before the man, who is now lying on the ground. In the background the woman looks shocked up to Batman.


Caption (Batman): “...I can only do so little.”




****


Page 3


1/ Another side road. We see Batman walking in. He’s coming towards us.

Caption (Batman): “It’s 5.33 am.”


2/ Close-up of Batman’s upper face, slightly from the side. He looks tired.


Caption (Batman): “Sun’s rising.”


3/ We now see the Batmobile parking in the side road. We see the front, Batman is going to the car’s door.


Caption (Batman): “Time to go home.”


4/ Close-up of Batman’s eyes. They’re wide open, he’s surprised.


Caption: “What...”


5/We see the open car door, Batman looking inside and a man(Devil) in a suit and a cane he’s playing with. He looks to Batman and smiles.


Devil: “Good morning.”


****

Page 4


1/ Batman pulls the devil out of the Batmobile. He’s angry and menacing. The devil takes it the cool way.


Batman 1: “Who are you?”


Batman 2: “And how did you get in there?”


2/ Close-up of the devil. He smiles friendly.

Devil: “Well, I am Lucifer, you may also know me as Satan or the Devil.”


3/ Same as 2.


Devil: “And for your second question: I just wanted to be in there and >poof<, I was.”


4/ Close-up of Batman’s eyes staring at us (devil's point of view), he looks definitively pissed.




****

Page 5
Four broad panels all showing Batman holding the devil by the collar. We always see them from the side. Batman looks pissed, Devil smiles friendly.


1/ Devil: “And I guess your unspoken third question would be: what do I want?”


2/ Devil: “I’m here to make you an offer.”


3/ -


4/ Batman: “Get lost.”


****

Page 6


1/ Batman moves to the batmobile, the devil turns after him and speaks.


Devil: “I’m serious, you know...”


2/ We see Batman on the side, only half of his face, behind him the devil with a big smile on his face, now not that friendly anymore. Batman’s one eye that we’re seeing is wide.


Devil: “... Bruce.


3/ Batman is turning to the devil, we see a still of the move of him turning.


Batman: “That doesn’t convince me. I know a couple of telepaths myself.”


4/ The devil leans on his cane.


Devil: “Why don’t you, at least, listen to my offer?”


5/ Close-up of the devil’s face, we see it from Batman’s view. Though he looks at us, his face is turned to the side. His index finger points out and lies from our view over his eye. Again he has a big smile on his face.


Devil (1): “No more crime.”


Devil (2): “No more violence.”


Devil (3): “NO MORE EVIL.”


****

Page 7
Six even-sized panels.


1/ Close-up of Batman. He thinks.


2/ Front view of the devil.


Devil: “All this, just for your soul. And I don’t do any tricks like destroying the world or mankind to get the job done. No one will even remember, that there was something like evil. Only you.”


3/ Front view of Batman. He stares at us(the devil).


4/ Same as 3, but now he speaks.


Batman: “No!”


5/ Batman gets into the car.


6/ The batmobile rides away.


****

Page 8/9
Splash double page(1) with three small panels(2,3,4) in the lower area.


1/ The batmobile stops after the ride from the city inside the batcave.


2/ The door of the batmobile opens.


3/ The Batman gets out of the car.


4/ Total view from above. Batman steps away from the car and towards the batcomputer.


Batman: “Computer, show: Gotham, crime, last ten hours.”


****

Page 10


1/ Batman sits on the chair in front of the computer. He is taking his mask down, we see his face, but he is looking down. The computer’s voice speaks.


Computer(electrical): “Loading...”


2/ Close-up of Bruce’s eyes, he is shocked. The computer’s voice speaks.


Computer(electrical): “Found.”


3/ We see Bruce sitting before the computer, but the attention lies on the big screen, there’s the description of a double-murder, there’s a picture of the chalk lines of the two corpses.


Large text on screen: “Double-murder, parents killed before their son”


4/ On the right side we see Bruce staring at the screen, we can look over his shoulder, there is the devil coming out of the shadows.


Devil: “Really sad, isn’t it.”


5/ Same as 4, but the devil is now halfway to Bruce, who is still staring at the screen.


Devil: “Of course, you could make things like that completely gone.”


6/ Now the devil is behind Bruce and bows down to speak in his ear.


Devil: “Take my offer!”


****

Page 11


1/ Close-up of Bruce’s eyes, front view, tears start to come in his eyes.


2/ Same as 1, Bruce closes his eyes, two small tears run down his face.


3/ He opens his eyes, he made his decision.


Bruce: “Deal.”


4/ Completely white.


****


Page 12


1/ Completely white.


2/ Close-up of Bruce’s eyes, from the same angle as panel 3 from p.11, but now Bruce looks confused.


3/ Now we stand directly behind Bruce, we see him wearing a suit in the manor’s library staring at the grandfather clock.


4/ Same as panel 3, but now Bruce slightly moves his head, because someone is calling him.


Martha Wayne(off): “Bruce?! Is that you?”


Bruce: “Wha...”


****

Page 13
One splash panel.


Bruce sees his parents at the door, they’re wearing casual clothes. He looks really surprised.


Bruce(1, loud): “Mom! Dad!”


Bruce(2): “What the...”


****

Page 14


1/ We see Thomas and Martha Wayne in the door. They look confused.


Martha: “Bruce, is there something wrong?”


2/ Close-up of Bruce front, from the shoulders up. He looks puzzled.


3/ Same as panel 2, but now Bruce is smiling.


Bruce: “No, everything’s fine, I’m just a little nervous.”


4/ Close-up of Thomas Wayne, smirking at his son.


Thomas: “Believe me, son, I know exactly how you feel!”


5/ The two are turning around leaving Bruce alone in the library, Thomas is waving over his shoulder. Both, Thomas and Martha are smiling.


Thomas: “Well, you get through it. You’re mother and I have to get dressed for tonight.”


Martha: “I hope Selina’s parents can make it. It’s a long flight from Munich.”


****

Page 15


1/ Bruce looks to the small table were the remote control of the tv set lies.


2/ Close-up of Bruce’s hand taking the remote controll.


3/ Bruce turns the tv on.


4/ News show, the anchorman is smiling into the camera. Behind him is shown a picture of a human hand shaking the green hand of a Martian.


Anchorman: “Today, Martian president J’onn J’onnz met with UN ambassador Perry White to negotiate for the new treaty between Earth and Mars for several cooperational colony projects to make further space for people on Io and Europa.”


5/ Same as panel 4.


Anchorman: “ White said, ‘This is the first step into a brighter future.’”


****

Page 16
Three TV set panels.


1/ Same as panels 4 and 5 on last page, this time there’s another picture behind the anchorman. It’s a portrait of Diana, princess of Themyscira.


Anchorman: “This year’s Nobel prize for peace goes to the amazons of Themyscira for their scientific work that cured the world from the pollution of the environment.”


2/ Same as panel 1.


Anchorman: “Themysciran princess Diana, who also functions as the UN ambassador of Paradise Island, accepted the prize in the name of all amazons.”


3/ Now we see a cut-in from an interview with Diana, holding the prize in her hands.


Diana: “Of course, we all are proud of this. We didn’t do it for the prize, but it shows us, that the people of earth noticed our work and appreciate it.”


****

Page 17
Again three TV set panels


1/ The anchorman in the studio again, now there’s a picture of the symbol of the house of El from Krypton behind him.


Anchorman: “And, today the new Kryptonian ambassador Kal El arrived on Earth, together with his human wife Lois Lane.”


2/ Same as panel 1, but the symbol is replaced by a picture of Kal El and Lois waving to the people. Kal El wears a traditional Kryptonian suit.


Anchorman: “The two met while Kal El was studying at Metropolis University. Lane also studied there, to become a journalist. Today, she’s his press spokesperson.”


3/ Still the anchorman, now there’s a picture of Bruce and Selina Kyle behind him.


Anchorman: “Local news, Gotham’s bachelor No.1, Bruce Wayne, is finally engaged with long-time girlfriend Selina Kyle...”


****

Page 18
Splash page.


We see a big party room inside the Gotham Plaza. People are sitting at several tables. On the top is a long table with the special guests. In the middle of that table are Bruce and Selina. Others at the table are James Gordon & Sarah Essen, Bruce’s parents, Selina’s parents, a pregnant Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson, and Lucius Fox with wife. Everybody’s enjoying themselves.


Caption box: “’...tonight’s the engagement party with some prominent guests.”


****

Page19


1/ A spoon is tipped against a wine glass.


Sound effect: “Tink! Tink!”


2/ Close-up of Jim Gordon’s face, he’s smiling.


3/ Jim’s standing up and begins a speech. In his right hand he holds his wine glass.


Jim: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope I’m not interrupting something important. As you may know, I am Mayor James Gordon, and a personal friend to both, the Waynes and the Kyles.”


4/ Total view from above, Jim is in the center of the panel.


Jim: “I remember, it was six years ago, when I was on a party. Bruce was naturally there and, not so naturally, so was Selina. Her parents have to travel a lot, and so had Selina back then. I didn’t remember them having ever met before, so I took a chance and introduced them to each other.”


5/ Jim’s hand, coming out of the edge of the panel, is pointing to Bruce and Selina, both smiling and looking to him.


Jim(off): “They liked each other from that moment on, but it took Bruce six years to propose. And when I see them now, I know this was worth these six years.”


****

Page 20


1/ Close-up of Jim holding his glass high.


Jim: “To yours, cheers!”


2/ Total view, all guests holding there glasses high.


All together: “Cheers!”


****

Page 21
Nine even-sized panels.


1/ Total view from above, people are dancing, Bruce and Selina are dancing in the center of the panel.


2/ Side view of Bruce and Selina, both are happy.


Bruce: “I still can’t believe how lucky I am.”


3/ We look over Bruce’s shoulder into Selina’s face.


Selina: “I guess we’re both lucky.”


4/ Close-up of Selina’s face. She looks thoughtful.


Selina: “It were long six years,...”


5/ Same as panel 4, but now Selina is smiling again.


Selina: “...but Jim is right, they were worth waiting.”


6/ They are dancing silent for the moment.


7/ Side view of Bruce and Selina, Selina is speaking.


Selina: “But there’s still a question...”


8/ Same as panel 7, but now it’s Bruce who’s speaking.


Bruce: “I’m listening.”


9/ Same as panel 7, but we get closer to them.


Selina: “Why now?”


****

Page 22


1/ Close-up/Side view of Bruce. He seems confused, but keeps smiling.


Bruce: “Excuse me?”


2/Close-up/Side view of Selina.


Selina: “Why did you propose now?”


3/ Same as panel 1, but Bruce isn’t confused but thoughtful.


4/ Total view from above, with Bruce and Selina in the center, from the side we see Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon walking towards the dancing couple.


Bruce: “I guess I’m tired of wearin’ masks.”


Selina: “Yeah, me too.”


5/ Dick and Barbara arrive at Bruce’s and Selina’s side. All are smiling.


Dick: “Hey, Bruce, congratulations, pal.”


Bruce: “Same to you.”


6/ Close-up of Barbara smiling.


Barbara: “So, are the two of you going to be parents, too?”


7/ Close-up of Bruce and Selina, thrown with the question.


Bruce: “Well,.. uh... uhm.”


Selina: “I guess, for now our goal is getting married. Anything else can wait till later.”



****

Page 23


1/ Inside the limousine of Bruce, Alfred is driving, Bruce and Selina are sitting in the backseat. Selina’s head lies on Bruce’s shoulder, his arm is wrapped around her back. We look to them over Alfred’s shoulder.


2/ Side view of the backseat situation.


Selina: “So, did you like the party?”


Bruce: “Tonight was great.”


3/ Outside, the limousine is going up the way to Wayne Manor. Of course, by now it’s dark outside.


Bruce(inside the car): “And you were the best part of it.”


****

Page 24


1/ We’re now inside the bedroom. On one side of the room is a glass door to the balcony, the full moon is shining outside. On a chair near the bed is Bruce’s dressing gown. Bruce and Selina are in bed. Selina is asleep, Bruce lies awake. We see it from a point where the door would be.


2/ Close-up of Bruce, side view. Behind him is the full moon, so we see only the silhouette of his face.


Caption (Bruce): “Can’t fall asleep.”


3/ Close-up of Bruce, front view. One half lies in shadows, he looks outside to the moon, but he keeps his head straight.


4/ Total and side view, the bed, Bruce, Selina, the chair, it’s all one big silhouette. Bruce is sitting on the side of the bed, the moon before him.


Caption (Bruce)1: “Everything’s perfect.”


Caption (Bruce)2: “ But why do I feel like something’s missing?!”


****

Page 25


1/ Front view of Bruce sitting on the bed, the moon shining on him, him looking up to it.


2/ Close-up of his hand gripping the dressing gown.


3/ We see his silhouette tying the knot of the belt while he is walking.


4/ Front view, he is now at the door of the library. He just switched the light on. He fights the blinding light with his eye lids.


5/ He is now standing before the window and looks at Gotham City. We see it over his head, as we stand behind him.


Caption (Bruce): “Like something’s wrong?!”


****

Page 26


1/ Front view of Bruce sitting in the easy chair sleeping. It is morning by now.


Alfred(off): “Master Bruce?!”


2/ Close-up of Bruce’s right eye slightly opening as he awakes.


Alfred(off): “Master Bruce, wake up!”


3/ Now we see Bruce in his chair and Alfred standing before him. Bruce is rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes. Alfred looks pretty shocked.


Bruce: “Alfred, what’s up?”


Alfred: “Sir,...”


4/ Close-up of Alfred.


Alfred: “It’s terrible!”


5/ Close-up of Bruce, now also shocked.


Alfred(off): “There’s been an accident at Wayne Industries.”


****

Page 27


1/ Total view, we are at a building site of a new building of Wayne Industries. There are lots of people. There also is a big crane.


2/ Close-up of Bruce, now fully dressed, looking up at the crane.


3/ Back view of Bruce, standing before the building site.


Reporter(off): “Mister Wayne...!”


4/ Bruce, standing at the left edge of the panel, looks over his shoulder to see a female TV reporter waving with a microphone, behind her is her camera man.


Reporter: “Mister Wayne, can you tell us, what happened?”


****

Page 28


1/ Lucius Fox appears and talks to the reporter. Bruce looks at him in anticipation.


Lucius: “Excuse us, but neither Mister Wayne, nor me can give any comment at the moment.”


2/ Bruce and Lucius shake hands while the TV team is leaving them alone. Bruce is talking.


Bruce: “Lucius, hi. What happened?”


3/ Close-up of Lucius’ eyes.


Lucius: “I really have no idea, Bruce. I guess, you should see for yourself.”


4/ Now we stand behind them, they are moving towards the building site which we see in the background, Lucius is talking to Bruce.


Lucius: “Follow me. But you should prepare, it’s an ugly sight!”


****

Page 29


1/ In the foreground is a big concrete mixer, the opening points up, two legs of a man reaching out of it. Around it are several people, first-aid attendants, doctors, firemen, but no policemen, for there is no police in a world without crime. In the background we see Bruce and Lucius.


Lucius: “My god, it’s so terrible. They say he is tied up in there.”


2/ A closer shot of Bruce and Lucius. Lucius is still shocked. Bruce is brooding, for he knows, what happened.


Lucius: “How could this happen, Bruce?! How can such a terrible accident happen?”


Caption (Bruce): “This was no accident!”


****

Page 30


1/ Total view of the hospital. Bruce’s car is parking in front of it.


Caption (Bruce): “This hospital sure is small.”


2/ Inside, in an emergency room, Bruce, Lucius and a doctor are staying next to the victim’s body, lying on an operation table. The doctor is talking.


Caption (Bruce): “And there is no special place for corpses.”


3/ Close-up of Bruce, brooding.


Caption (Bruce): “The doctor tells the usual, cause of death, wounds on the body. The victim’s name is Benjamin Filler, he was a worker on a building site of Queen Industries.”


4/ Lucius and the doctor are turning towards the door, Lucius says something. Bruce is still brooding.


Caption (Bruce): “Lucius goes to bring Filler’s family the bad news. The doctor has to look after a new patient, says I can wait here.”


****

Page 31


1/ Bruce is putting on operating rubber gloves.


Caption (Bruce): “I take the chance to look at the body for myself.”


2/ Close-up of Bruce’s gloved hand on the body’s arm. Bruce is examining the corpse.


Caption (Bruce): “Nothing on the body, that the doctor didn’t already say. No special wounds, there was no fight.”


3/ With his thumb, Bruce opens Filler’s eye, the pupil is small. An examining light shines on the dead’s eye.


Caption (Bruce): “The pupil says he’s been drugged.”


4/ Bruce is putting a medical syringe into the body’s arm to take a blood sample.


Caption (Bruce): “I take some blood. I’ll examine it later.”


5/ Bruce takes the gloves off.


Caption (Bruce): “And now let’s have a look at the things he had with himself.”


****

Page 32


1/ Close-up of the box with Filler’s belongings. There’s a key, a wallet, a box of matches and a calling card of “Berry’s Bar”.


Caption (Bruce): “Just some money and his ID card in the wallet. Keys of his apartment.”


2/ Bruce takes the calling card out of the box.


Caption (Bruce): “But what is this?”


3/ Close-up of the calling card. Now we see the address, “ 342 Port Avenue”. The word “DIE” is written with a pencil below the name of the bar.


Caption (Bruce): “A clue!”


****

Page 33


1/ Total view of the hospital, outside. Bruce runs through the main entrance toward the parking Bentley.


2/ Inside the Bentley, we look over Alfred’s shoulder to the back seat. Bruce gets in the car.


Bruce: “Alfred, get me to Berry’s Bar in the Port Avenue!”


Alfred: “Yes, Sir!”


3/ Outside, the street, Alfred is driving the car very fast.


4/ Close-up of Bruce.


Caption (Bruce): “I guess, there is just one more murder mystery for me to solve.”


5/ Close-up of Bruce’s mouth, he is smiling.


Caption (Bruce): “One last time.”


****

Page 34


1/ The car passes the Wayne Industries building site.


Caption (Bruce): “So the world will at last be perfect.”


2/ The car stops before Berry’s Bar, a little dock worker bar.


Caption (Bruce): “The bar.”


3/ Bruce gets out of the bar, we see Alfred at the wheel, for his window is open.


Bruce: “Alfred, wait here. I’ll be right back.”


4/ Inside the car, Alfred takes a book with the title “William Shakespeare’s Hamlet; a comedy”.


Alfred: “As you wish, Master Bruce.”


****

Page 35


1/ Inside the bar. Bruce enters the bar, it’s empty safe for the bartender.


Caption (Bruce): “This time of the day, the bar’s, of course, empty.”


2/ The bartender looks at Bruce and recognizes him.


Bartender: “Oh, Mister Wayne!”


3/ Bruce sits down at the bar and speaks to the bartender.


Bruce: “Hello. I was hoping you could help me with something. Do you know a man named Benjamin Filler?”


4/ The bartender is confused.


Bartender: “Why, of course, Mister Wayne.”


5/ Close-up of Bruce, he is shocked.


Bartender(off): “He met with you here last night.”


****

Page 36


1/ Bruce tries to stay calm.


Bruce: “Surely, you got me mixed up with someone else.”


2/ The bartender shakes his head.


Bartender: “Surely not, Sir! I remember your whole conversation.”


3/ The bartender speaks to Bruce, who gets more and more nervous.


Bartender: “You met here at the bar, about 11.00pm. You did some small talk.”


4/ Close-up of Bruce, he’s listening to the bartender, sweat running down his face.


Bartender(off): “Then he told you he worked at the building site for the new Queen Industries branch. He was not happy there, for some reason.”


****

Page 37


1/ Front shot of the bartender, he looks worried.


Bartender: “You told him about your new building site, offered him a job. Then the two of you left. You wanted to show him the site.”


2/ Bruce stares at the bartender like in trance.


Bartender: “Something wrong?”


3/ Bruce turns around and holds onto the bar.


Caption (Bruce): “Oh, my god!”


4/ A flashback. Should be in red color to differ it from the other scenes. We see from Bruce’s point of view, Benjamin Filler going before him in the streets.


Caption (Bruce): “I remember!”


5/ Flashback, also red. Again from Bruce’s POV, Filler falling down.


Caption (Bruce): “I remember!”


6/ Flashback, red. Bruce is tying Filler up, Filler is unconscious.


Caption (Bruce): “I remember!”


****

Page 38


Splash page, close-up of Bruce, he’s in horror.


Caption (Bruce): I did it!


****

Page 39


1/ Bruce runs toward the door. The bartender looks confused.


Bartender: “Hey, Mister Wayne!”


2/ Outside, Bruce runs out of the bar. Alfred sticks his head through the car’s window.


Alfred: “Master Bruce, are you alright?”


3/ Bruce runs down the street, Alfred stares after him.


Alfred: “Master Bruce!”


****

Page 40


1/ Total view of Bruce running down the street.


Caption (Bruce): “I did it!”


2/ We get closer to Bruce, he’s still running.


Caption (Bruce): “It makes total sense!”


3/ Bruce runs around a corner.


Caption (Bruce): “Nobody but me knew about something called murder.”


****

Page 41


1/ Bruce runs into a side-street.


Caption (Bruce): “I even enjoyed investigating!”


2/ Bruce falls to his knees.


Caption (Bruce): “I am the only thing left from an imperfect world.”


3/ Bruce breaks into tears.


Caption (Bruce): “I couldn’t stand a world, where I couldn’t fight crime.”


4/ Close-up of Bruce, tears running down his face.


Caption (Bruce): “So I committed crime myself!”


****

Page 42


1/ Bruce comes out of the side-street.


Caption (Bruce): “So what now?”


2/ A few blocks away he sees the building site, where there is a crane.


Caption (Bruce): “The site!”


3/ Closer look of the crane.


Caption (Bruce): “The crane!”


4/ Bruce starts running toward it.


****

Page 43


1/ Bruce reaches the entrance to the building site. A worker greets him.


Worker: “Hey, Mister Wayne!”


Caption (Bruce): “I’m sorry, Alfred!”


2/ Bruce rushes toward the crane.


Caption (Bruce): “I’m sorry, Dick and Barbara!”


3/ Bruce climbs up. A worker calls up to him.


Worker: “Mister Wayne, we got an elevator!”


Caption (Bruce): “I’m sorry, Jim!”


4/ Bruce arrives at the top of the crane.


Caption (Bruce): “I’m sorry, Selina!”


****

Page 44

Splash page, Bruce stands at the edge, in the background we have a great look at Gotham in the sunshine. The wind plays with Bruce’s hair and clothes.


Caption (Bruce), 1: “I’m sorry, Mom and Dad!”


Caption (Bruce), 2: “But without me, the world will at last be perfect.”


****

Page 45


Six even-sized panels, all from the same point of view. We look upwards to the crane.


1/ We see Bruce, very little, standing at the edge of the crane.


2/ Bruce jumps, he’s still very far away.


3/ Bruce comes a little nearer.


4/ He’s half the way to the ground we begin to recognize his face.


5/ Now he’s almost on the ground, we see, he has his eyes closed.


6/ Black.


****

Page 46


Six even-sized panels, all from Bruce’s point of view, he lies in a bed in the hospital.


1/ Black.


2/ A small light in the center of the panel.


Someone says something we don’t understand.


3/ A small slit is now open, we see a colorful blur through it.


4/ The slit gets wider, we now see some people above us staring down to us, but we still don’t recognize them.


Voice: “...ook... mhum...”

5/ Only the corners of the panels are still black, we now see Bruce’s parents and Selina staring down to us. They are still a bit of a blur, but we can recognize them.


Martha Wayne: “...aking up!”


6/ Now we see them totally clear, they all look down to us, worried, but relieved.


Selina: “Oh, Bruce, thank god!”


Caption (Bruce): “Oh, no!”


****

Page 47


Splash page of the room, we’re in the hospital, Bruce lying in bed with several bandages and a broken leg in plaster. Selina and his parents stand next to him, Alfred, Dick and Barbara and Jim Gordon are also in the room, all of them relieved.


Thomas Wayne: “Boy, what did you think, going up that crane?”


Caption (Bruce): “I’m still alive.”


****

Page 48


Six even-sized panels.


1/ Total view of the room.


Caption (Bruce): “They think I fell.”


2/ A nurse is holding the door open, the people leave.


Caption (Bruce): “They stay with me, till a nurse sends them out.”


3/ Close-up of Bruce, closing his eyes.


Caption (Bruce): “I need rest.”


Voice (off): “So...”


4/ Close-up of Bruce looking at the window, from where the voice came.


5/ The devil sits on the windowsill, grinning.


Devil: “How do you like hell?”


6/ Same picture as panel 4, but now Bruce’s eyes are widened.


The end.

[Elite]

Ich bin echt fasziniert wie viel Mühen du scheinbar in dein Comic-Script investiert hast. Zwar reißt es einem leicht aus dem Lesefluss raus, wenn man sieht wo die Seiten zu Ende sind und wie die Bilder und Szenen angeordnet sind, auf der anderen Seite jedoch kann man es sich so vor dem inneren Auge wirklich sehr gut visualisieren.

Dir ist echt eine sehr interessante und äußerst düstere Geschichte gelungen, die auf alle Fälle das Potenzial gehabt hätte in Form eines vollwertigen, offiziellen Comics das Licht der Printmedien zu erblicken. Schade drum, dass es nicht so ist, so kann ich dir nur mein Lob aussprechen und die Daumen drücken für die Zukunft mit deinen Arbeiten!